Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Send This To Your Boss If You Dare

Hi Boss,



People who do lots of work,
make lots of mistakes.

People who do less work,
make less mistakes.

People who do no work,
make no mistakes.

People who make no mistakes,
gets promoted.

That's why I spend most of my time,
sending e-mails & playing games at work

I need a promotion.
:D

Friday, July 15, 2011

Read Before Getting Hitched!



• Why do Bride & Groom exchange flowers during wedding ?
To tell each other affectionately... Sweetheart U R Dead !
*************

• Different Phases of a man:

After engagement: Superman

After Marriage: Gentleman

After 10 years: Watchman

After 20 years: Doberman

************
• There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it

*************
• Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?

Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

*************
• How Dogs and Women are alike?

Neither believe that silence is golden, neither can balance a checkbook, and Both put too much value on kissing

*************
• The world's thinnest book has only one word written in it: Everything and the book is titled: "What Woman Want!"


*************
• A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.

A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.

A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND

*************
• Galfriends r like chocolates, taste gud anytime.

Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.

Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice

*************
• Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?

Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

*************
• There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thruogh hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.
*************
• On Jeeto's b’day Santa had no money, so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses.

When he returns home Jeeto said: Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank manager.
*************
• Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
*************
• Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
*************
• Life is a paradox-what u want u don't get(luv), what u get, u don't njoy(marriage), what u njoy is not permanent(galfriend), what is permanent is boring(wife)
*************
• What men want: A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a woman who loves him & system to make sure that those 3 women never meet each other!
*************
• Lady 2 her maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary."

Kanta : I don't believe it! U r just saying that 2 make me jealous!"


Saturday, July 9, 2011

Giant Objects Used for Advertisement


If you were walking down the street and saw a huge tennis racket or a massive soccer ball on top of a crushed car wouldn't you take notice? These unique and eye catching ads might be the most effective for searing their brands into people's brains.


















Thursday, July 7, 2011

Dad's Story

> On July 22nd I was in route to Washington , DC , for a business trip.
> It was all so very ordinary, until we landed in Denver for a plane
> change.
>
> As I collected my belongings from the overhead locker, an announcement
> was made for Mr. Lloyd Glenn to see the United Customer Service
> Representative immediately.
>
> I thought nothing of it until I reached the door to leave the plane and
> I heard a gentleman asking every male if he were Mr. Glenn. At this
> point I knew something was wrong and my heart sunk.
>
> When I got off the plane, a solemn-faced young man came toward me and
> said, "Mr. Glenn, there is an emergency at your home I do not know what
> the emergency is, or who is involved, but I will take you to the phone
> so you can call the hospital."
> My heart was now pounding, but the will to be calm took over.
>
> Woodenly, I followed this stranger to the distant telephone where I
> called the number he gave me for the Mission Hospital. My call was put
> through to the trauma center where I learned that my three-year-old son
> had been trapped underneath the automatic garage door for several
> minutes and that when my wife had found him he was dead. CPR had been
> performed by a neighbor, who is a doctor, and the paramedics had
> continued the treatment as Brian was transported to the hospital.
>
> By the time of my call, Brian was revived and they believed he would
> live, but they did not know how much damage had been done to his brain,
> nor to his heart. They explained that the door had completely closed on
> his little sternum right over his heart. He had been severely crushed.
> After speaking with the medical staff, my wife sounded worried but not
> hysterical, and I took comfort in her calmness.
>
> The return flight seemed to last forever, but finally I arrived at the
> hospital six hours after the garage door had come down. When I walked
> into the intensive care unit, nothing could have prepared me to see my
> little son laying so still on a great big bed with tubes and monitors
> everywhere. He was on a respirator. I glanced at my wife who stood and
> tried to give me a reassuring smile. It all seemed like a terrible
> dream. I was filled-in with the details and given a guarded prognosis.
> Brian was going to live, and the preliminary tests indicated that his
> heart was OK, two miracles in and of themselves. But only time would
> tell if his brain received any damage.
>
> Throughout the seemingly endless hours, my wife was calm. She felt that
> Brian would eventually be all right. I hung on to her words and faith
> like a lifeline. All that night and the next day Brian remained
> unconscious. It seemed like forever since I had left for my business
> trip the day before.
>
> Finally at two o'clock that afternoon, our son regained consciousness
> and sat up uttering the most beautiful words I have ever heard spoken..
> He said, "Daddy hold me" and he reached for me with his little arms.
>
> By the next day he was pronounced as having no neurological or physical
> deficits, and the story of his miraculous survival spread throughout
> the hospital. You cannot imagine, when we took Brian home, we felt a
> unique reverence for the life and love of our Heavenly Father that
> comes to those who brush death so closely.
>
> In the days that followed, there was a special spirit about our home.
> Our two older children were much closer to their little brother. My
> wife and I were much closer to each other, and all of us were very
> close as a whole family. Life took on a less stressful pace.
>
> Perspective seemed to be more focused and balance much easier to gain
> and maintain. We felt deeply blessed. Our gratitude was truly profound.
>
> The story is not over (smile)!
>
> Almost a month later to the day of the accident, Brian awoke from his
> afternoon nap and said, "Sit down Mommy.. I have something to tell
> you." At this time in his life, Brian usually spoke in small phrases,
> so to say a large sentence surprised my wife. She sat down with him on
> his bed, and he began his sacred and remarkable story.
>
> "Do you remember when I got stuck under the garage door? Well, it was
> so heavy and it hurt really bad. I called to you but you couldn't hear
> me. I started to cry, but then it hurt too bad. And then the ' birdies
> ' came."
>
> "The birdies?" my wife asked puzzled."Yes," he replied. "The birdies
> made a whooshing sound and flew into the garage. They took care of me."
> "They did?"
> "Yes," he said. "One of the birdies came and got you. She came to tell
> you "I got stuck under the door." A sweet reverent feeling filled the
> room. The spirit was so strong and yet lighter than air.
>
> My wife realized that a three-year-old had no concept of death and
> spirits, so he was referring to the beings who came to him from beyond
> as "birdies" because they were up in the air like birds that fly. "What
> did the birdies look like?" she asked.
>
> Brian answered, "They were so beautiful. They were dressed in white,
> all white. Some of them had green and white. But some of them had on
> just white."
>
> "Did they say anything?"
> "Yes," he answered. "They told me the baby would be all right."
> "The baby?" my wife asked confused.
>
> Brian answered. "The baby laying on the garage floor." He went on, "You
> came out and opened the garage door and ran to the baby. You told the
> baby to stay and not leave."
>
> My wife nearly collapsed upon hearing this, for she had indeed gone and
> knelt beside Brian's body and seeing his crushed chest whispered,
> "Don't leave us Brian, please stay if you can." As she listened to
> Brian telling her the words she had spoken, she realized that the
> spirit had left his body and was looking down from above on this little
> lifeless form. "Then what happened?" she asked.
>
> "We went on a trip," he said, "far, far away." He grew agitated trying
> to say the things he didn't seem to have the words for.
>
> My wife tried to calm and comfort him, and let him know it would be
> okay. He struggled with wanting to tell something that obviously was
> very important to him, but finding the words was difficult.
>
> "We flew so fast up in the air. They're so pretty Mommy," he added.
> "And there are lots and lots of birdies." My wife was stunned. Into her
> mind the sweet comforting spirit enveloped her more soundly, but with
> an urgency she had never before known.
>
> Brian went on to tell her that the "birdies" had told him that he had
> to come back and tell everyone about the "birdies." He said they
> brought him back to the house and that a big fire truck and an
> ambulance were there. A man was bringing the baby out on a white bed
> and he tried to tell the man that the baby would be okay. The story
> went on for an hour.
>
> He taught us that "birdies" were always with us, but we don't see them
> because we look with our eyes and we don't hear them because we listen
> with our ears. But they are always there, you can only see them in here
> (he put his hand over his heart). They
>
> whisper the things to help us to do what is right because they love us
> so much. Brian continued, stating, "I have a plan, Mommy.
>
> You have a plan.. Daddy has a plan. Everyone has a plan. We must all
> live our plan and keep our promises. The birdies help us to do that
> cause they love us so much."
>
> In the weeks that followed, he often came to us and told all, or part
> of it, again and again. Always the story remained the same. The details
> were never changed or out of order. A few times he added further bits
> of information and clarified the message he had already delivered. It
> never ceased to amaze us how he could tell such detail and speak beyond
> his ability when he talked about his birdies.
>
> Everywhere he went, he told strangers about the "birdies."
> Surprisingly, no one ever looked at him strangely when he did this.
> Rather, they always got a softened look on their face and smiled.
> Needless to say, we have not been the same ever since that day, and I
> pray we never will be.
>
> You have just been sent an Angel to watch over you. Some people come
> into our lives and quickly go. Some people become friends and stay a
> while...leaving beautiful footprints on our hearts .. and we are never
> quite the same because we have made a good friend!!
>
> Yesterday is history. Tomorrow a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why
> it's called the present! Live and savor every moment...this is not a
> dress rehearsal!

Monday, July 4, 2011

The Real Meaning Of Car Names!

BMW: Brings Me Women.

LEXUS: Luxury EXports to United States.

FIAT: Failure in Italian Automotive Technology.

FORD: For Only Romantic Drivers.

HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive.

VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object.


PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything.

KIA: Kills In Accidents.

OPEL: Old People Enjoying Life.

TOYOTA : The One You Only Trust, Always.


PROTON: Powerwindow Rosak Oooh Tidaaaakkkk Ohhhh Noooooo!