That Human Touch!

 Toyota Mechanics

Freakyyyy...

Like ghost. ;D

Confession Of A Waitress

Only in Malaysia - confession of a waitress
> Waitress: I would like to deny that what was reported ever happened. 
> The ex-Minister did not fondle or molest me. It was all a 
> misunderstanding.
> 
> Reporter: What made you make that report then? What actually happened.
> 
> Waitress: I did feel someone putting his hands on my backside. Then I 
> felt the hand going higher. I protested, but it did not stop. I tried 
> to pull the hand away, but the owner of the hand is much stronger than 
> me. He was also drunk because I could smell it from his breath.
> 
> Reporter: What made you initially suspect that it was the ex minister 
> who did it.
> 
> Waitress: After pleading for sometime, I  couldn't take it anymore so 
> I screamed. Then they on the lights and the ex minister was next to 
> me.
> 
> Reporter: You suspected that he was the one because he was next to 
> you? It could have been others right?
> 
> Waitress: I thought it was him, because that night, he was the only 
> customer. There was no one else in the bar except the bar boy, two 
> other waitresses who were with the bar boy, the ex minister and me... 
> That was why I thought it was him.
> 
> Reporter: It could have been either of the waitresses or the bar-boy 
> right?
> 
> Waitress: No it couldn't be, they were at quite a distant away. They 
> lights were on only seconds after I screamed.
> 
> Reporter: Then how come you are now sure that it was not the ex 
> minister, since he was the only one close to you?
> Anyway how close was he to you? I only realised that it couldn't have 
> been him when the police and his lawyers visited me a few days ago.
> 
> Reporter: How many of them visited
>  you?
> 
> Waitress: 20 police personnel and 12 lawyers.
> 
> Reporter: So many of them? What did they say or do?
> 
> Waitress: They told me that that club is haunted. They said that a few 
> years ago, a drunkard lecherous old man was shot dead for molesting a 
> woman there. They added that it could be his ghost who did it.
> 
> Reporter: And you believed them?
> 
> Waitress: I was confused, but they brought an ex waitress who 
> confessed that the same thing happened to her and coincidentally, the 
> same ex minister was beside her. They said that, the dead man was an enemy of the ex minister so that was why his ghost did it every time he is around.
> 
> Reporter: Since the place is haunted, are you going back to work 
> there?
> 
> Waitress: Oh no, I don't have to work anymore. The ex minister was so kind. He said that he took pity on me because I was molested by the ghost of his enemy. He blamed himself for what had happened to me. He gave me  a cheque for 1 million ringgit, a condominium and an expensive car. He said I don't have to pay for the condominium.
> To show how he cares, he even took a key and said that he would be checking on me, to see if I need any help or if the ghost is still 
> haunting me. That is why, I feel so bad that I had implicated a very good man.

Very Interesting Story

Two cats decide to marry.

They had a sweet married life.

They got their first baby.

And the second.

First step for their babies.

Mother worked hard for her family needs.

And the father gets to play and has a girlfriend.

The children's grow up without care and became bad boys.

One of them became terrorist.

 

The other stay in night clubs.

And decided to kill himself out of depression.

When dad heard that, he got heart attack.

Mum lost her mind and became crazy.

Amazing, no? :D

Latest EVO Mouse!

Awesome, no? :D

First Time Sex

It is clean and funny. 

FIRST TIME SEX
 

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents. 

Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. 

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. 

He tells the  pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
 

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
 

The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
 

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door.
 

"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated.
 

The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.   

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. 

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.'
 

The boy turns, and whispers back,
'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'

The Rain

The Rain

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast

with his wife. I inquired as to her
health.

He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not

recognized him in
five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him,

'And you still go every
morning, even though she
doesn't know who you are?'

He smiled as he
patted my hand and said,

'She doesn't
know me, but I still know who she is.'

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps

on my arm, and thought,

'That is the kind of love I want in my life.'

True love is
neither physical, nor romantic.

True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. With all the jokes and fun that are in e-mails, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an important message.. This one I thought I could share with you.   The happiest people don't necessarily   have the best of everything; they just make  the best of everything they have. I hope you share this with someone you care about. I just did..

'Life isn't about
how to survive the storm,
But how to dance
in the rain.'
We are all getting Older
Tomorrow may be our turn.

Earth

PLANT FLOWERS AND TREE TO SAVE THE EARTH!

Dear one and all,
   
    As you see, our climate has changed drastically and I believe it's getting worse. No matter which country you are living in...If you are able to plant a tree in your garden, please do so. If not, then at least pass this email to other's who might be able to do so. If everyone of us do our part in some way to help mother earth to survive, she will survive... it's better then doing nothing about it or leaving it to others to do it.

    Dear All,
    NASA reports, by the next 10 months, earth gets hotter by 4 degrees from now.
    The Himalayan glaciers are melting at a rapid rate.
    So all of you lend your hands to fight Global Warming.
    We have to take the following steps :
   

Plant more trees.

Don't waste water. Water is a precious resource.

Don't Use or Burn PLASTIC. Hold back or go prepared to counter temptation with a cloth bag.

SAVE THE EARTH

Words That Never Been Spoken

A Birth Certificate shows that we were born

A Death Certificate shows that we died 
Pictures show that we lived! 
Have a seat . Relax . . .
And read this slowly. 

I Believe... 
That just because two people argue, 
It doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue,
It doesn't mean they do love each other. 

I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if
We understand that friends change. 

I Believe....
That no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that. 

I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance. 
Same goes for true love. 

I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant
That will give you heartache for life. 

I Believe....
That it's taking me a long time
To become the person I want to be. 

I Believe... 
That you should always leave loved ones with
Loving words. It may be the last time you see them. 

I Believe....
That you can keep going long after you think you can't. 

I Believe....
That we are responsible for what
We do, no matter how we feel. 

I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you. 

I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done  when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences. 

 

I Believe....
That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing

and have the best time. 

I Believe....
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you

when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up. 

I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be angry,
But that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. 

I Believe....
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences

you've had
And what you've learned from them and less to do with 

how many birthdays you've celebrated. 

I Believe....
That it isn't always enough,
to be forgiven by others. 
Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself. 

I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken 
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe....
That our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
But, we are responsible for who we become. 


I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager to find
Out a secret. It could change your life Forever. 

I Believe....
Two people can look at the exact same 
Thing and see something totally different. 

I Believe...
That your life can be changed in a matter of
Hours by people who don't even know you. 

I Believe...
That even when you think you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you -
you will find the strength to help. 

I Believe...
That credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being. 

'The happiest of people don't necessarily
have the best of everything;
They just make the most of everything they have. 

Globalized Language!

OMG! :D

Wonderfully Described Definitions

CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco
rolled in paper
with fire at one end
and a fool at the other!

MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement
wherein
a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master


 

LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information
from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students
without passing through the minds
of either

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man
multiplied by the
number present






COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing
a cake in such a way that
everybody believes
he got the biggest piece

TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which
masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!









 

 

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on





 


ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel
you are going to feel
a feeling
you have never felt before

CLASSIC:
A book
which people praise,
but never read





 

SMILE:
A curve
that can set
a lot of things straight!

OFFICE:
A place
where you can relax
after your strenuous
home life


 

YAWN:
The only time
when some married men
ever get to open
their mouth



 

EXPERIENCE:
The name
men give
to their
Mistakes



 

DIPLOMAT:
A person
who tells you
to go to hell
in such a way
that you actually look forward
to the trip

OPTIMIST:
A person
who while falling
from EIFFEL TOWER
says in midway
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

MISER:
A person
who lives poor
so that
he can die RICH!

FATHER:
A banker
provided by
nature



 

BOSS:
Someone
who is early
when you are late
and late
when you are early



 

POLITICIAN:
One who
shakes your hand
before elections
and your Confidence
Later



 

DOCTOR:
A person
who kills
your ills
by pills,
and kills you
by his bills!