Jokes

Good Start and Sad Ending

A husband and wife were sitting watching TV when he turned to his wife and said,

Honey, tell me something that will make me Happy and Sad all at the same time.'
She said 'You have the biggest dick of all your friends.'

Teacher didn’t have more stars

Pappu got '0' mark in exam
Father angrily says
What is this?
Pappu: Teacher didn’t has more stars
She gave me the moon..

At your age Einstein was ranked 1st in class

Teacher:  You idiot!  At your age Einstein was ranked 1st in class. What about you?
Student:  Sir, at your age Hitler committed suicide! What about you?!

What about you?

Indian-I have 4 sisters and 3 brothers.
What about you?
American-I have no sis or bro,
But I have 4 moms from my 1st Dad and 5 dads from my 1st mom.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:-
Never Make the Same Mistake Twice...
There are So Many New Ones...
Try a Different One Each Day... ;-)

Santa declares

Santa declares

I’ll never marry in my life and I'll give same advice to my children also.

I am feeling guilty

doc1: I had sex with my patient. I am feeling guilty..
doc2: it happens in our profession, take it easy.
doc1: ya, but u know I am vet doctor...

Little Johnny's attention

The math’s teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, "Pappu! What are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "Cartoon Network, Ten Sports, Discovery Channel and Pogo!"

A boy goes to a strip club

A boy goes to a strip club.
His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything there that you were not supposed to see?
Boy: Yes, I saw dad!

Do you remember?

Do you remember the day we travelled in a car?
I put my dog out of the window,

you put your face out,
then people started shouting 'TWINS TWINS'

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