Most Amazing Typewriter Drawings

27-year-old British artist Keira Rathbone does not use a brush or pencil.

Kira first began experimenting with a typewriter, even at the university.

30 typewriters that she used to create unique portraits. Such as: Obama, Kate Moss, Marilyn Monroe.

Word On Mums

WHY GOD MADE MUMS? Answers given by 2nd year school children to the following questions: Why did God make mothers? 1. She's the only one who knows where the selotape is. 2. Mostly to clean the house. 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. How did God make mothers? 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. 3. God made my mum just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. Why did God give you your mother and not some other mum? 1. We're related. 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mum like me. What kind of a little girl was your mum? 1. My mum has always been my mum and none of that other stuff. 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. 3. They say she used to be nice. What did mum need to know about dad before she married him? 1. His last name. 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? 3. Does he make at least 1 million a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? Why did your mum marry your dad? 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mum eats a lot. 2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 3. My grandma says that mum didn't have her thinking cap on. Who's the boss at your house? 1. Mum doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such an idiot. 2. Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed. 3. I guess mum is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. What's the difference between mums and dads? 1. Mums work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. 2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. 3. Dads are taller and stronger, but mums have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends. 4. Mums have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. What does your mum do in her spare time? 1. Mothers don't do spare time. 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. What would it take to make your mum perfect? 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery. 2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. If you could change one thing about your mum, what would it be? 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. 2. I'd make my mum smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me. 3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

When Was Your Last Confession?

A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church. He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down. There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to have mislaid their garments. 

He hears a priest come in: "Father, forgive me for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."

The priest replies, "Get out, you idiot. You're on my side."

Interesting Cupcakes Contest

Conquer Your Weakness

Conquer Your Weakness


This is a story of one 10-year-old boy who decided to study judo despite the fact that he had lost his left arm in a devastating car accident.

The boy began lessons with an old Japanese judo master. The boy was doing well, so he couldn’t understand why, after three months of training, the master had taught him only one move. “Sensei,” the boy finally said, “Shouldn’t I be learning more moves?”

“This is the only move you know, but this is the only move you’ll ever need to know,” the Sensei replied. Not quite understanding, but believing in his teacher, the boy kept training.

Several months later, the Sensei took the boy to his first tournament. Surprising himself, the boy easily won his first two matches. The third match proved to be more difficult, but after some time, his opponent became impatient and charged; the boy deftly used his one move to win the match. Still amazed by his success, the boy was now in the finals.

This time, his opponent was bigger, stronger, and more experienced. For a while, the boy appeared to be overmatched. Concerned that the boy might get hurt, the referee called a time-out. He was about to stop the match when the Sensei intervened. “No,” the Sensei insisted, “Let him continue.”

Soon after the match resumed, his opponent made a critical mistake: he dropped his guard. Instantly, the boy used his move to pin him. The boy had won the match and the tournament. He was the champion.

On the way home, the boy and Sensei reviewed every move in each and every match. Then the boy summoned the courage to ask what was really on his mind. “Sensei, how did I win the tournament with only one move?”

“You won for two reasons,” the Sensei answered. “First, you’ve almost mastered one of the most difficult throws in all of judo. And second, the only known defense for that move is for your opponent to grab your left arm.”

The boy’s greatest weakness had become his greatest strength.”  

That Human Touch!

 Toyota Mechanics

Freakyyyy...

Like ghost. ;D

Confession Of A Waitress

Only in Malaysia - confession of a waitress
> Waitress: I would like to deny that what was reported ever happened. 
> The ex-Minister did not fondle or molest me. It was all a 
> misunderstanding.
> 
> Reporter: What made you make that report then? What actually happened.
> 
> Waitress: I did feel someone putting his hands on my backside. Then I 
> felt the hand going higher. I protested, but it did not stop. I tried 
> to pull the hand away, but the owner of the hand is much stronger than 
> me. He was also drunk because I could smell it from his breath.
> 
> Reporter: What made you initially suspect that it was the ex minister 
> who did it.
> 
> Waitress: After pleading for sometime, I  couldn't take it anymore so 
> I screamed. Then they on the lights and the ex minister was next to 
> me.
> 
> Reporter: You suspected that he was the one because he was next to 
> you? It could have been others right?
> 
> Waitress: I thought it was him, because that night, he was the only 
> customer. There was no one else in the bar except the bar boy, two 
> other waitresses who were with the bar boy, the ex minister and me... 
> That was why I thought it was him.
> 
> Reporter: It could have been either of the waitresses or the bar-boy 
> right?
> 
> Waitress: No it couldn't be, they were at quite a distant away. They 
> lights were on only seconds after I screamed.
> 
> Reporter: Then how come you are now sure that it was not the ex 
> minister, since he was the only one close to you?
> Anyway how close was he to you? I only realised that it couldn't have 
> been him when the police and his lawyers visited me a few days ago.
> 
> Reporter: How many of them visited
>  you?
> 
> Waitress: 20 police personnel and 12 lawyers.
> 
> Reporter: So many of them? What did they say or do?
> 
> Waitress: They told me that that club is haunted. They said that a few 
> years ago, a drunkard lecherous old man was shot dead for molesting a 
> woman there. They added that it could be his ghost who did it.
> 
> Reporter: And you believed them?
> 
> Waitress: I was confused, but they brought an ex waitress who 
> confessed that the same thing happened to her and coincidentally, the 
> same ex minister was beside her. They said that, the dead man was an enemy of the ex minister so that was why his ghost did it every time he is around.
> 
> Reporter: Since the place is haunted, are you going back to work 
> there?
> 
> Waitress: Oh no, I don't have to work anymore. The ex minister was so kind. He said that he took pity on me because I was molested by the ghost of his enemy. He blamed himself for what had happened to me. He gave me  a cheque for 1 million ringgit, a condominium and an expensive car. He said I don't have to pay for the condominium.
> To show how he cares, he even took a key and said that he would be checking on me, to see if I need any help or if the ghost is still 
> haunting me. That is why, I feel so bad that I had implicated a very good man.