Various High Heels!

 

Cool eh? :)

Short and Sweet

Advertisement In A Long Island Shop:  
Guitar, for sale... Cheap... no strings attached.

Ad In Hospital Waiting Room:
Smoking Helps You Lose Weight...
One Lung At A Time!

On a bulletin board:
Success Is Relative.
The more The Success,
The more The Relatives.

When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking....
I Gave Up Reading

My Grandfather Is Eighty
And Still Doesn't Need Glasses....
He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.

Sign In A Bar:
'Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget,
Please do Pay In Advance.'  
 
Sign In Driving School:
If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive,
Don't Stand In Her Way....

Behind Every Great Man,
There Is A Surprised Woman.

The Reason Men Lie Is Because
Women Ask too Many Questions....

Fear Of Getting Caught
Is The Mother Of Invention.

Laugh And The World Laughs With You,
Snore And You sleep Alone!

The Surest Sign
That Intelligent Life Exists
Elsewhere In The Universe
Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.

Sign At A Barber's Saloon In Detroit :
We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business..

Sign In A Restaurant:
All Drinking Water In This Establishment
Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.

Mona Lisa On The Streets Of Sydney

Bet with you for a cup of coffee that you will never be able to

figure out how this was achieved.

3,604 cups of coffee which have been made into a giant Mona Lisa painting in Sydney, Australia. The 3,604 cups of

coffee were each filled with different amounts of milk to create the different tones and shades!

Coincidence? What do you think?

A Canadian Citizenship Interview

Canadian Citizenship Application

An immigrant from China is applying for citizenship in Canada. He is to be interviewed by a Canadian immigration officer. He does not speak English well and knows nothing about Canada. Therefore, he invited a special translator to help him in his interview.
 
Officer: Do you know who was the first Prime Minister of Canada?
 
Translator: ( in Cantonese) The officer asked you, Where do you usually go if you want to eat hamburger?
 
Man: (answered to the officer) Oh..... McDonald (the first minister of Canada is Sir John MacDonald.)
 
The officer nodded his head and then asked the second question.
 
Officer: Could you tell me which province you're living in now?
 
Translator: (in Cantonese) The officer just asked you, What is the dirtiest thing in your nose?
 
Man: (replied to the officer in Cantonese) Ah..... Bay See (which means nose dirt in Chinese) (The man lives in the province of British Columbia, commonly known as B.C.)
 
The officer added a current affair question, "Who is the prime minister of Canada now?"

The translator speaks in Cantonese, "What's that part of the face below your lips and above your neck?"

Man replied "Har Per".  (which means chin in Cantonese) (The current prime minister of Canada is Prime Minister Stephen Harper)

The officer nodded his head again and asked the final question.
 
Officer: Do you know what your privilege is when you become Canadian?
 
Translator: (in Cantonese) The officer asked you, How does a dog sounds like when it barks?
 
Man: (demonstrated the sound to the officer)... Woe, Woe. (Vote, Vote. One of the privileges of a Canadian is the right to vote.)
 
The officer told the man that all the questions were answered correctly, shook hands with him and congratulated him that he had passed the interview to be a Canadian citizen. 

1981 & 2011

Best Canadian Joke 2010!

  Best Canadian Joke of the year!!!

This was nominated for  best joke of the year - worth sharing. A  Somali arrives in Vancouver as a  new immigrant to Canada .  He  stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says  ... 'Thank you Mr. Canadian for letting me in this country, giving me housing,  money for food, free  medical care, free education and no taxes!' The passerby says, 'You are mistaken, I am  Mexican.' The  man goes on and encounters another passerby. ' Thank you for having such a  beautiful country here in Canada !' The person says, 'I not Canadian, I Vietnamese.' The  new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand  and says, 'Thank you for the wonderful Canada !' That person puts up his hand  and says, 'I am from Middle East , I am not Canadian !' He  finally sees a nice lady and asks, 'Are you a Canadian ?' She says , 'No, I am  from Africa !' Puzzled, he asks her, 'Where are all the  Canadians ?' The  African lady checks her watch and says ...'Probably at  work'

I don't get it lah! LOL :D

Cute Pictures

Unbelievable Math Problem

Here is a math trick so unbelievable that it will stump you.
Personally I would like to know who came up with this and why that person 
is not running the country. 
Grab a calculator. (you won't be able to do this one in your Head)  
1. Key in the first three digits of your phone number (NOT the Area code...) 
2. Multiply by 80
3. Add 1
4. Multiply by 250
5. Add   to this   the last 4 digits of your phone number
6. Add   to this  the last 4 digits of your phone number again.
7. Subtract 250
8. Divide number by 2
              Do you recognize the answer ??

Wise Words On Matrimony!

Never Break Four things in your Life
Trust, Promise, Relation & Heart
Because when they break
they don't make noise but PAINs  alot.... 

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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. David Bissonette   After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. Sacha Guitry By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. Anonymous The great question.... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" Dumas I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Sigmund Freud 'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.' Anonymous 'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.' Sam Kinison Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. Patrick Murra The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.... Nash You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. Anonymous My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Henny Youngman A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. Rodney Dangerfield A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.' Anonymous First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!' Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.' Anonymous

__._,_

Protect Your Head

Helmets are too expensive?

LOL :D